Why do we lie to those are love the most?
There are long lists of what we will not say to those we love stretching from lying about liking their family members to lying about who we find sexy.
Are we scared? Embarrassed? Unsure? Or do we shy away from those things where we know conflict will arise and it is better to have a steady, calm relationship instead of one where certain topics can never be mentioned. Do we worry that if we say anything forever-and-a-day after, anything broaching the subject will illicit a response from our partner such as ‘well we know not to go there’, or even worse the snatched look of worry.
Do any or all of these lies amount to much? If they are to keep the peace and ensure we do not hurt our partner what is the harm? Probably none, unless your partner is well aware you are hiding something. Lies after all, leave their mark on our faces and in our manner and after years together if your partner does not notice the tiniest changes in your mien then they are simply not paying attention. And if they love you they should be paying attention.
This is the person with whom you should be able to talk about anything. With whom you should be vulnerable and yet safe. But in the back of your mind is the uncertainty that they will not love you enough to understand. The uncertainty that to speak of these things is to take trust onto a new level, a level you have not tested before and you do not know if the love will hold.
It is so much easier to lie than to take a chance.
A Brief History Of Lies:
Paperback black and white, 100 pages with 8 cartoons. $8.00
Published 14th February 2010.