The Indecent Proposal

Every so often a man in a position of power is shown to have abused that power to get sex. And people act surprised and horrified.

Every man who tells his sons they have a right to ‘play the field’, every man who has a chat up line or approaches a woman on the basis on her body form and not what she is talking about, every time an erection becomes the only thought in a man’s head…then the dictates of testosterone are in play, evolution has taken over reason and the male becomes an animal.

Interestingly, when the sexual revolution happened, women loved the freedom to have sex as they wanted to, and Cosmopolitan in those early years could be forgiven for concentrating on a woman’s body and forgetting women have ‘souls’ . In my opinion there isn’t a woman’s magazine in this world that should talk about looks, but few will agree.

In modern society, and maybe always, sex has become a trade in which women gain something. But the women who don’t trade are victims and respect is not being taught strongly enough so it becomes nature to us all.

Sex without love, my mother told me, is masturbation with legs on. Words to live by.


I was surprised, though I really should not have been, when I started chatting to people around the world on the Internet, at how many women have faced deep physical and emotional abuse from men. Not only that but the very men closest to them, the very men one assumes (and that shows how dangerous assumptions are) who would normally be expected to be most protective.

Along with this realisation came another, that where I had considered there to be abuse because it is brutish behaviour I accredited the most brutish people I could think of in society as being abusers but I could not have been more wrong. Men who hit their girlfriends and wives span all strata of society.

So to understand what goes on I have to consider wider human characteristics and fall back on the ideas of self-confidence, hatred of mothers, abuse as children any of  dozens of reasons why any man, anywhere would hit a woman he also makes love too. Why any man (and a few women) would hit their partner at all even in fury and anger. I want to call these men cowards because they are but some of them do extremely dangerous jobs – the army is no stranger to assaults and soldiers are hardy cowards.

It is a puzzle I have not yet fathomed.

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November 2018
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