There is a Mystery

What is self-awareness. Had an egg fertilized a month before or a month after, I would not exist. It is a deep mystery to me how to define the ‘I’ in nature. Not me, I realise I have self-awareness and consciousness – it is hard to miss – but how that was made is hidden from me.

For example we have ideas coming along of being downloaded into a plastic body and living forever. If, however, you merely copy your consciousness into the plastic body but look through your old eyes and die, then all that lives on is a copy of you thinking it is the original.

Through long training it is possible to disassociate with your body – Indian’s practice this and the Chinese have carried out operations on people with no anesthetic and they feel no, or highly control, the pain.

The idea of knowing I exist is one thing, the idea of exactly what this ‘I’ is, is quite another. I don;t believe in a soul, I don’t accept a mind/brain duality. These are fantasies trying to invent answers. this set of experiences which only I can have called ‘my life’, is wholly governed by my nature yet deeply difficult to comprehend.

The Perfect Cup Of Tea

The Far East of course has made an art form of preparing, making and serving tea and other drinks. And the exquisite apparatus they use in presentation puts the cheap cups they sell us in our supermarkets here in the UK to shame.

I recall my mother saying her father always came in and asked for a hot cup of tea (he drank it very strong) and in Charlie Chaplin’s memoir about his mother who was taken to a mental asylum, recalling her words ‘I would been alright if I had had a hot cup of tea.’ A traumatic thing to tell your young son in the circumstances.

But then circumstances are all important when it comes to how things effect us.  Indeed they describe to our minds how important most things are. It is not just the experiences of life that play out in our lives but where we are mentally when they are experienced, what we have set as our goals, what we have accepted as our world view and even who we are with –

This interplay of circumstances some of which we can control and some of which we cannot determines how we take experiences. They set the level of our elation, the number of our tears, the intensity of our anger. And very often they can present us with the exquisite mental ability to cope or deprive us of that ability all together.

Not everything is in the hands of fate, and lot of things are simply down to who we are.

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May 2018
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