In our pursuit of happiness the first thing we have learned is that, there is not much to be happy about. So we tend to lie to ourselves to give us an aura of happiness. This is most prevalent in how we lie to children to protect their childhood. But adults lie to themselves all the time: look at the positive (as if happiness is a weighing machine of negative against positive), concentrate on being alive (as if death mist be an absolute unhappiness), don’t give out negative energy.
If we set up expectations of Utopian proportions we are never gong to be happy. If we invent an heaven to be a perfect place that only exists for the dead, how can we ever be happy?
Rather than look for happiness, what we might be better doing is showing understanding to each other. And not assuming happiness can ever come from other human beings. There are no absolute goods, nor absolute bads. There may be no reasons for certain things to happen or not happen. We live in a median world where compromise is the rule.